Most flings start with good intentions and end in a majorly messy way because the parties involved screw it up. There are certain rules you need to follow if you’re going to make this sort of relationship work and if you fail to do so things will get difficult and someone will get their feelings hurt in a major way. Don’t be discouraged though; you can have a fantastic fling if you do it right. Follow these five rules and you can’t go wrong.


Rule 1: Never fall in love With Your Fling. This one is at the top because it’s the most important. Once you fall in love everything gets messy, particularly since it’s almost never both parties that feel the love. Sadly, your life is not a romantic comedy. If you fall for her you will get your heart broken when she tells you she does not feel the same way because she was able to keep it together. You’ve probably heard it said that the heart wants what the heart wants, which largely means that sometimes you fall in love and can’t help it. You might start to fall for someone. The key is to cut it off before those feelings develop. You avoid falling in love by paying attention to your feelings and ending the relationship if they start to move into that love and caring range.

Rule 2: Create and stick to a set of rules. Your fling needs boundaries it can operate within. This rule often goes hand in hand with the first since those that have fallen in love tend to break the rules. That’s how you know to break it off. Rules can include a limited number of meets per week, specific times to contact each other, limited texting, or even a ban on certain phrases (no saying I love you, for instance). The key is sticking to the rules and once someone breaks one you need to have a talk about it or even end the relationship.

Rule 3: Don’t go on dates with each other. The key to a having a fling is to limit it to sex only. When you’re just screwing you stand a chance of keeping the complicated emotions of love from entering the picture. Even if your dates are as simple as a quick bite to eat after a roll in the hay it can upset the balance of the fling. If you keep it strictly to sex you will make it work far longer.

Rule 4: Don’t have a fling with a friend. The easiest type of fling happens with an open-minded friend that wants good sex but doesn’t desire all the trappings of a relationship. It’s a tantalizing possibility since you already know her, but jumping into it with a girl you already know is a recipe for disaster. It makes keeping your emotions in check much more difficult and it means that other friends you share will almost certainly find out about it, which is where a real mess can unfold.

Rule 5:No flings with people in relationships. Sex with an unsatisfied member of a long term partnership is usually fantastic. They’re pent up and you’re helping them release that energy. You need to resist the allure. It’s fine for a one time thing but a long lasting fling is certain to end in disaster because their partner will find out. That could mean you get your ass kicked by a crazed husband, her marriage ends, their children end up with divorced parents, etc. The risks far outweigh the benefits, which means it’s imperative for you to find someone else to sleep with.